To be or to ..... BE

I don't know why I always write about the annoying things, I'd like to write something to cheer up, but, Oh God, it is out of my hands for the moment.
Any way, I mentioned before that I'm Syrian and I'm proud for being Syrian, and since I left Syria, I faced a repeated situation which always makes me lose my temper.

First scene:

I'm at work, a client entered the office, he was Lebanese, asking for some details, the dialogue was in English , I sat with him, with a respect smile on my face, providing him with each and every detail he needs, then after finishing, he asked me: are you Lebanese ?, the smile disappeared from my face, and said: NO, I'm Syrian, he was surprised – I don’t know why- and said: really, you must be Lebanses, I said: yes, do you have anything against me ? He confused and apologized in low voice.

Second scene:

I was talking to hotel manager, she was a pro-Lebanses lady -she was Italian lady got married to a Lebanese man- any way, I arranged what I need, then at the end of the call, I told her: happy saint RITTA anniversary (it was 22nd of May 2006, and I know that Christians celebrate this occasion) … then she was shocked, she told me: how do you know about this Italian saint?, I told her I just know, then she asked: you must be Lebanese … I said NO I'm NOT, I'm Syrian, but why you asked such a weird question? She also confused then she said: this is not a familiar occasion. Then I said: so what? That means Lebanese must know these information and Syrian NOT??
Then she tried to fix up the situation, so she said: you must be Christian; again: wrong choice, NO I AM NOT, then she was speechless for a while, then she told me, any way Ziad, regarding your request, it is really hard, but, consider it done … I said: come on, are you telling me that because of this coincidence that I know this occasion you will help me in this ?, then she said: no, but I liked your way of talking, then after a while, I got a call from her office, and everything was done.

I also have many situations like these 2, but I will write only these, I just wanted to say:
Why we – as SYRIANS- must be treated like this?? How come if any body of us acts like a gentle woman/man will accuse to pretend as a Lebanese? I'm not Lebanese and I will never pretend to be a Lebanese, I'm Syrian, and proud for being the guy who I am.
So my friends, can you ask yourselves this question? Why we are treated like this when we are abroad?

Reasons to survive ... To stay alive

Hello guys...
Sorry for being late this time, I was in bad mood recently, any way, I feel better now...
I was under the hot water today having a shower, when an idea came across my mind, why I'm doing this to myself, feeling bad, frustrated, angry, what ever ... this idea told me why didn't I remember some events that affected to my life, so, I decided to write today about the most critical events in my life, that made me feel that I have to live, cause may be I'm blessed ;) ...

1- I will go back to the year of 1983, I was a cute baby as my mother keep saying (al-2red be 3een emmo 3'azal) ... and we were at our house in Tijara (Damascus) ... I was playing, then I felled down and hit my head to the ground, unfortunately, no body notice that I was bleeding, after one hour, my dad walked near me, and then shouted, " what the hell is this" ... my blouse was red the back side was covered by blood, they took me to the hospital, and the doctor had to use forceps to cut the skin and remove a disgusting clot ... and up to date, I still have this scar at the back of my head to remember how lucky I was that my dad noticed that I was bleeding.

2- after we shift from Damascus, we lived in Banias, and I was 5 years old in the nursery school, they took us in a trip, we were so happy, then, we hit a very slope road, suddenly, the bus stopped, and start falling down, I remember that event clearly, as if it was yesterday, it was the year 1986, and I still remember the driver's voice "3ammo TALAL" asking "Miss. BADRYA" to try going down and put a stone behind the wheel, but she couldn't ... mean while, the bus start tipping over from the top of the road until we settled down at the bottom, I remember the feeling of dizziness, after seconds the yelps started, we were about 24 kids in that bus, and all start shouting and crying, after a while, flames started to come out of nowhere, same time a military truck was around, thank god, the rookies ran to the bus, and start breaking the windows by their muddy shoes and stones, they hardly entered the bus, and start pulling out the kids, some kids stepped over me, I didn't know what was going on, then, I remember his face, the bald head and the mustache, he broke the window and pull me out of the bus, the took us away, after few minutes, an explosion took place, it is the bus, the only thing that we can see in stead of the bus is dark steam with flames …
One boy passed away in that accident, his name was Ziad (same like mine), and one girl was seriously injured, her name was Kholod …
I don’t know if it was a good luck, but a friend of my uncle was there, so he called my uncle, and he came to pick me on his motorcycle, he dropped me at home, my mother was waiting in behind the window, she was dying to see what happen, when she saw me, she jumped on the stairs, and hold me, we sat on the floor and start crying together, I told her: "MOM, I'm sorry, I lost my new bag, I kept half of my ZA'ATAR sandwich and cucumber in it" then without a word, she hold me to her chest and cried more and more …
My eye-lashes were burned, and some of my hair also, my upper under-wear was cut, and I don’t know how, and I lost my hand bag, it was dark blue and some red, and a football player was painted on it …

3- I fond of fishing, and I'm a good fisherman, so, once I went with three friends to have another kind of fishing, so, we took a very big wheel full of air, to load our tools on it, the tools were 4 cages as a trap for fish, and since I have the swimming tools, so, I volunteered to look after the fishing tools and push them to the fishing location, it was around 1 kilometer away from the sea shore, it was very hard to swim with such extras, any way, we reached the location, and we put these cages at the depth of almost 12 meters, after we finished, my friend told me:" you look tired, so give me your swimming tools and I will look after the floating wheel." I said okay, then he took them all, and went back to the shore, I said to myself, I will take a rest then I'll go back, I noticed that the draught was pulling me deeper and pushing me far away, so I start swimming to go back to my friends, I passed around 500 meters behind my back, then suddenly, my muscles start shrinking, and I couldn't move any more, I said to myself: "this is the end, you idiot, how come you let them took the tools and you tired, you can’t make it." I stopped for a while, thinking, if I will panic, I will drown soon, so, I relaxed as much as I can, and said to myself:" I will never die like this, I have a lot to do" then, I put my face towards the water, and start swimming like a robot, no thinking, after a while I couldn’t feel my arms and chest muscles, but it's ok, it is better, I kept on swimming like this, more than 1 hour for 500 meters, I raised my head, I saw some rocks, oh god, I made it, and when I reached the first rock, I laid on it as if it is a sleep comfort mattress, I laid, looking to the blue sky, smiling, I'm alive …

4- also, once, I arranged with my friends to go to LATTAKIA, so we agreed to go at 4 O'clock, and one of my friends (as usual) delayed us, so we moved on 4:30 instead of 4, and I start yell at my friend and blame him cause he delayed us, until we saw something on the road that made me calm, a serious accident, same transportation company, we stopped, asked for details, it was the bus who lift on 4, a lot of people injured and some died, my friend looked at me, smiled, and I shut up …

5- when I was in high school, I used to go with some one everyday by his motorcycle, one day, he told me, shall we go ?, I said:" I don’t feel like going, you go, and I'll catch you later." He left 9:55 a.m, I got a call after 10 minutes, he made an accident, and, he passed away …

6- the last one for today, it happened one year back, I was in Dubai, I met my friends, we agreed to go out, we sat in Ebn Batota mall, then the guy whom I supposed to go with him asked me to go, I told him:" let me stay for a while, and I will go with another friend to meet you later." He said: okay, after a while, I got a phone call, he made accident, the car cancelled, and the front seat where I was supposed to sit was completely destroyed.

All these events are real; I summarized them just to see how lucky I am.

So, after all this memories hit my mind, I discovered that my life deserves, I don’t know if what happen to me is a kind of good luck, or it is fate… whatever, I discovered that I'm here to do something and I must NOT live like this, I have to improve everything … thank god, for looking after me…
Oh .. The water became a little bit cold; I have to go working …

Five obstacles ...

I have been tagged by Oriental Arabesque to name five obstacles i faced when i started my blog ...
mmm ... i feel that i'm in the corner ... cus i may copy some of yours ... any way ... let see ...

1- Being lazy, and don't know what to post or how to post, i have a lot of ideas, BUT, (ana kaslan), finally, i got the suitable motivation (which i'm not gonna tell you about it) ... so, i'm here, and to be honest, i'm happy for being here.

2- I still feel shy when i see that other bloggers puting a lot of nice accessories (7arakat 7elwey) and i don't know how :( ... i'm trying to improve myself.

3- being worry that what i'm posting is not matching with the readers interests, so, it is not that much encouraging when i'm posting for myself ... (7elwey hay .. 3ajabtny)

4- Ahh ... here we are ... i lived a long time alone, and i never used to share my feelings with anyone, so, it is not comfortable and easy for me to change my life style.

5- the antitheis between my personality online and in the real life, cus in the real life i have to be in specific type to survive, and here .. i'm just who i'm ...

It was really hard to write these five points ... so, mmmm, i'm thinking who must be the next victim ... (as if i know a lot of bloggers, but i don't) ...
any way, i will tag the first person who tagged me ... so yalla ya SHAM ... you have tagged ...

A Gift for each and every SYRIAN ...

Hi,

I wanted to share this fantastic poetry, of Saeed Akel, a Lebanese poet.
this post dedicated to SHAM ;) ... our sham ... Damascus ..


قرأتُ مجدَكِ في قلبي و في الكُتُـبِ
شَـآمُ ، ما المجدُ؟ أنتِ المجدُ لم يَغِبِ
إذا على بَـرَدَى حَـوْرٌ تأهَّل بي
أحسسْتُ أعلامَكِ اختالتْ على الشّهُبِ
أيّـامَ عاصِمَةُ الدّنيا هُـنَا رَبطَـتْ
بِـعَزمَتَي أُمَـويٍّ عَزْمَـةَ الحِقَـبِ
نادتْ فَهَـبَّ إلى هِنـدٍ و أنـدلُـسٍ
كَغوطةٍ مِن شَبا المُـرَّانِ والقُضُـبِ
خلَّـتْ على قِمَمِ التّارِيـخِ طابَعَـها
وعلّمَـتْ أنّـهُ بالفتْـكَـةِ العَجَـبِ
و إنما الشعـرُ شرطُ الفتكةِ ارتُجلَت
على العُـلا و تَمَلَّـتْ رِفعَـةَ القِبَبِ
هذي لها النصرُ لا أبهى، فلا هُزمت
وإن تهَـدّدها دَهـرٌ مـنَ النُـوَبِ
و الانتصارُ لعَـالي الـرّأسِ مُنْحَتِمٌ
حُلواً كما المَوتُ،جئتَ المَوتَ لم تَهَبِ
شآمُ أرضَ الشّهاماتِ التي اصْطَبَغَتْ
بِعَـنْدَمِيٍّ تَمَتْـهُ الشّـمْسُ مُنسَـكِبِ
ذكّرتكِ الخمسَ و العشـرينَ ثورتها
ذاكَ النفيرُ إلى الدّنيا أنِ اضْطَـرِبي
فُكِّي الحديدَ يواعِـدْكِ الأُلى جَبَهـوا
لدولةِ السّـيفِ سَـيفاً في القِتالِ رَبِي
و خلَّفُـوا قَاسـيوناً للأنـامِ غَـداً
طُوراً كَسِـيناءَ ذاتِ اللّـوحِ والغلَبِ
شآمُ... لفظُ الشـآمِ اهتَـزَّ في خَلَدي
كما اهتزازُ غصونِ الأرزِ في الهدُبِ
أنزلتُ حُبَّـكِ في آهِـي فشــدَّدَها
طَرِبْتُ آهاً، فكُنتِ المجدَ في طَـرَبِي


I love you ... my SYRIA

Quiz Award ...

Hello friends,

due to my promise for the quiz, now, you can download the latest CD of Norah Jones, no passwords, no download tickiting, and don't forget that "Dancing Solo" who got the answer first, any way, the second pic still waiting to be recovered.


enjoy the CD ...

salam

Norah Jones- Not Too Late (2007)


1. Wish I Could

2. Sinkin' Soon

3. Sun Doesn't Like You, The

4. Until The End

5. Not My Friend

6. Thinking About You

7. Broken

8. My Dear Country

9. Wake Me Up

10. Be My Somebody

11. Little Room

12. Rosie's Lullaby

13. Not Too Late

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM

Life is changed ... I miss you my diary

when i was a teenager, i used to write down my feelings, thoughts and everything i face in my diary, just like what I'm doing now, to write down the same things in my blog same like the other bloggers, but today i asked myself a question; what is the difference between the two types? i used to tell all my secrets to my diary, it kept them, safely, it held my tears when i felt bad, and share my happiness when i was, i lived a life with each paper of it, i used to feel bad when a tear would drop on any page, cus the ink will make a dark spot, i used to use a liquid ink pen, it was silver it was "Waterman" ... i also loved it "the pen" , it was writing without my help, it felt what i was going through ... it helped me with the diary to prove to myself that I'm exist, and they are still in my lucked drawer, safe and still keeping my secrets. and now, we are using our blogs, the virtual life, writing down everything we can think about, and waiting the others to share their comments, poor us, poor me, there is no relation between me and my feelings, i can write down my words where ever I'm, i only need a computer and internet access, i may use your, her, his computer, what ever, it doesn't matter, i bet, that i can know what i feel by one look to the handwriting, but is there anybody can tell me if She/He can feel anything through the typing ... we lost the soul of writing
we are fake, writing just to write, just to show off, we are reflecting what we are pretending to be, not what actually we are .... Damn you virtual life ... i miss you my diary

Quiz ... Award Announcement ...

Helloooooo ....

I was laying on my bed ... then ... suddenly, a very nice idea hit my mind ...

So, below you will find 4 photos, for two objects, i will offer One CD as an award for the winner if She/He guess one of the objects, and i will offer THREE CD's for the winner if She/He guess the two Objects.

Object Number one:

Object Number Two:

All are invited for this quiz ...

i will be happy to get your answers ... don't forget .. a good award is waiting ....

salam